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Friday, December 20, 2013

Christmas Wishes : .ee Bubble Style

A Very Bubbly Christmas


Even Santa knows about the bubble
Yes, it's that time of year for reflecting back on 2013. What better way to do that than with our favorite Christmas poem? In our constant pursuit of perfection, we modified it a bit, and included links to some of our favorite posts from this year.

You can also find the original, and if you're too lazy to read the original, then listen to Emma Thompson and other famous people read it to you.

A Visit from Saint EAS

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Tehnopol’s house
Not a startup was stirring, nor a computer’s mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
In hopes that Enterprise Estonia soon would be there;
The startups were nestled all snug in their incubator beds;
While visions of free taxpayer money danced in their heads;
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had settled down like United Dogs and Cats for a long winter's nap,
When out on Vabaduse Väljak there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a lustre like a Robbie Williams concert to objects below,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight incubator rein-deer,
With a little old driver so lively and quick,
I knew it must be EAS, also known as St. Nick.
More rapid than the Complus bankruptcy they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Startup WiseGuys! now, GameFounders! now ViljandiIncubator and Vixen!
On, Eagle Nest! on, Räpina Incubator! on, Mektory and Blixen!
To the top of the Nevsky Cathedral! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away with BIF’s 200 million euros! dash away all!"
As leaves that before the wild hurricane of euros fly,
When they meet with an auditor’s obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the top of Arengufond’s building they flew
With the sleigh full of EU money, and St. Nicholas too—
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of Baltcap’s little hoof.
With talk of Publification’s failure getting around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes smelled like the inside of Subway and soot;
A bundle of ill-guided grants he had flung on his back,
And he looked like Fits.Me just opening his money receiving sack.
His eyes—how they twinkled like Liviko full of EU money, how merry!
His cheeks were plump like Yoga’s tax debt, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
His beard, like the face of an STD test taker at Quattromed, was white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke, like Fits.Me revenues, encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when thinking of foreign companies that claim to be Estonian, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Reminded me that InkSpin1’s non-existent product was no competition to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all of Rate.ee’s stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And like the revenues of Creative Mobile, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
Like nearly 12 million euros we wrote about this year, they all flew away like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—
“Happy Christmas to all of our thousands of readers, and to all a good night!”

Make It A Real Christmas

25% of the Estonian population lives in poverty, according to official statistics. Consider making a donation to charities like the Estonian Food Bank, so the less fortunate can enjoy a nice holiday. As we've written about all year, the government is wasting a lot of money on some projects, while ignoring more basic needs of society. At the very least, we as individuals can make a difference in the lives of some.

We'll be back in 2014...


  1. The creator of Estonian Food Bank is not even an estonian. The irony...

  2. Very funny..best wishes and keep up the good work of exposing these shams

  3. if all the 11,577,261 € "wasted" would be given out to Estonians, everyone of us would have got a whopping 9€.
    on the other hand, if they would have been given out to projects endorsed by doteebubble (are there any?) then it would have made a BIG diffenece :)

    1. Let's put things into perspective: that 11 mil would cover the next 26 years worth of government support for domestic violence shelters, or running the previously mentioned food bank until 2095. Both of them make significant impact compared to cats' and dogs' facebook, and other glorious EAS-funded projects.

  4. Somehow I have a feeling the Viljandi "incubator" is already closed down... Just a strong feeling...

  5. Poverty is killing Estonia. The rich are taking up expensive hobbies like fully booked Tennis courts at 30 euros and hour and 50 euros for tennis coach, and politicians stealing large sums of money and giving it to their friends. I think the money that is put into startups is a very small portion of what's actually going on. Improving the middle class should be at the top priority, but it is not. As many of my Estonian friends have told me. Due to the natural fearful estonian mentality of not missing out this opportunity, the rich are shipping all their cash overseas draining the country as fast as they can.

    Bravo ! The country side cities are getting decimated